r/funny • u/PhoenixPhenomenonX • 14h ago

Where’s the PRNDL

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credits : cherubg1rl

29.1k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/BChurchmountain 14h ago

They’re going the John Deere route.

They want all repairs done their way and no third party involvement.

It’s gross.

573

u/alex_c89X 14h ago

Lets hope the dumb cars catch on. I saw plans for a dumb truck where everything on the dash is back to analog. Not a screen in sight. Best part is that it should be below 30k. But this was like 2 years ago

449

u/RockyBass 14h ago

A basic bluetooth radio for music is about the only "tech" i want on my car. It's probably the main reason I've kept my older car going for so long.

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u/Smokes_LetsGo876 13h ago

I just bought a used car last year that had my first radio with bluetooth capability. It was dope at first, and now it constantly decides it doesnt want to allow my phone to connect for audio. Calls only. Its fucking infuriating

I really wish I just had an aux port.

70

u/cuber_and_gamer 13h ago

This is the reason why I don't use Bluetooth in my car. I don't even use my phone because changing a song gets a bit too involved for my liking (especially during icy winter months). I legitimately use an iPod Nano in my car for music. No ads, no phone calls, and hundreds of songs at my disposal that can easily be skipped in a click of a button. No messing with a screen. I'm also lucky that there's a music store in my town that I can buy a ton of CDs from, rip them, and put them on my iPod. And I also now own all of my music because fuck streaming services.

5

u/FancifulLaserbeam 11h ago

I legitimately use an iPod Nano in my car for music.

Right there with you! Even though my car is a 2022, it still can connect to a classic iPod, and I have one in the glovebox loaded with all our music. It works better than anything else.

2

u/TheWausauDude 7h ago

I have an aftermarket stereo in one of my cars that has a usb cable running to the glovebox. I just threw my music on a flash drive and hit shuffle. No ads, no connectivity issues, just mp3s playing.

36

u/digost 13h ago

I know it's illegal in many countries (including mine), but I solved it with a Bluetooth FM transmitter that plugs into the cigarette lighter socket.

27

u/Smokes_LetsGo876 13h ago

I dont think those are illegal in my country. I had one a long time ago and it worked pretty well, I should look into getting another. Thanks for reminding me about those things

1

u/bigfoot17 7h ago

Add one of those, and old phone running "head unit reloaded" and you can have a fully capable Android Auto setup in any car

25

u/Shiroke 13h ago

Why would that be illegal???

26

u/digost 12h ago

Because for transmitting into FM range (or any radio frequency really, outside Bluetooth, Wifi and some other bands) you have to have a license. Legislation depends on the country, but those low-power cigarette lighter type of transmitters have low enough range and don't cause a lot of troubles, so usually they get ignored, despite being technically illegal.

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u/Medium_Cranberry4096 8h ago

So what you're saying is I'm effectively a pirate radio station 🏴‍☠️

5

u/digost 8h ago

Bingo

2

u/Medium_Cranberry4096 8h ago

Just looked it up and it's not illegal in my country. Slightly disappointed

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u/TrippingFish76 11h ago

if you have an aux , a bluetooth-aux adapter / transmitter is way higher quality and works and sound a lot better

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u/digost 10h ago

I agree, but sadly my head unit doesn't have an aux.

3

u/LuckyEmoKid 12h ago

Those are illegal in some countries?

2

u/digost 8h ago

Yeah, but some counties enforce the laws prohibiting them moreso than the others. For example, in my country they're sold freely, you can find it everywhere, no import bans and no one would even care even if they find you using it despite it being technically illegal, whilst in Germany you can't even buy them (at least that's what I was told by my German friend). The reason being the output range of those things are usually just a couple of dozens of meters at best and don't cause a lot of trouble

1

u/This_Is_My_93 7h ago

Good luck finding a clear station to listen to your music though. I have to change my station every 5-10 minutes because it keeps becoming obnoxious static noises

1

u/digost 6h ago

Really? There are plenty of free frequencies in the FM band and you couldn't find one?

2

u/NotAboutWords 13h ago

Mine is doing the same, but just since the last phone update.

Thank you for reminding me I have an aux port

2

u/MrBattleRabbit 1h ago

I wish we would go back to old Single-DIN and double-DIN stereo installations. For a long time stereos were a standardized size across manufacturers, so swapping them was relatively easy.

My main car is about 40 years old, I added a really basic bluetooth-capable head unit to it, and it works fantastic for audio streaming. If it ever breaks, I can remove it myself and put in a new one for like $120 and a half-hour’s labor (less if I get the same brand and don’t need to splice on a new plug).

If the infotainment in my wife’s ‘23 Mini ever fails… god help me. She has the generation prior to the one in the OP and has way more physical buttons, but still, it’ll be like $700-800 just for the display.

1

u/Midnight2012 13h ago

I recently pulled out the old CD binder and I'm loving every minute of it

1

u/TBJ12 13h ago

Look into an FM Bluetooth adapter.

1

u/loonygecko 13h ago

Yeah a lot of stuff is controlled through that screen unit now and mine these days sometimes just randomly decides not to turn on for a while and then I have no backup camera, not radio, etc. But it turns on later, maybe in 5 minutes, maybe tomorrow, but always before I could get it to a repair person. It's so irritating, no one knows what is wrong with it.

1

u/Loves_tacos 13h ago

Go into your phone or car and unpaid your phone/device, the re-pair them. It usually helps fix exactly what youre describing.

1

u/Danson_the_47th 11h ago

I usually have my phone plugged up to it anyways simply because I can charge it while going places, and the audio is just a little louder I think.

1

u/SpiketheFox32 10h ago

This is why I still drive a car with a tape deck.

1

u/za72 10h ago

let's see how many generations until car manufacturers agree on a bluetooth chipset as industry standard

1

u/LizzyDragon84 8h ago

You might be able to get an aux port added- I added one to my car years ago.

1

u/thehufflepuffstoner 8h ago

My 2012 car will only connect to my music if I have the Bluetooth on my phone on when I start the car. If I turn my phone’s Bluetooth on after, it only connects to calls. I’ll still take it over a big stupid touch screen.

1

u/Spillsy68 5h ago

You might need to update the firmware. I had a Subaru outback that kept doing that. I contacted the dealer who said they usually update it when I took it in for a service. I looked it up and found out how to update it myself.

1

u/SkivvySkidmarks 5h ago

LOL. Be careful what you wish for. For years I wished that factory radios had an AUX port. It would have been cheap as borscht to include; a standard input format that had zero license requirements or patents.

Over the years, the vehicles I had came with AM/FM radios, and a couple had CD players, but no 3.5mm port.

I bought a new to me 2021 Chevy truck last year. I was tickled pink to see that finally, after almost 50 years of driving, they added a 3.5mm AUX port to a factory radio.

The issue? The port has a loose connection and every time I hit a bump, the radio switches to "AUX INPUT", cutting off the FM radio. fml

49

u/real_eEe 12h ago

My mom got a new Tiguan. The screen is the size of my laptop and had an AI that constantly tries to talk to her. I swear it interrupted us talking and said something like "This conversation has feelings of sadness. Do you want me to change the music to fit your mood" or some shit. I asked her to turn it off and she said "I don't know how and I kind of like her." We really are fucked.

4

u/GeneralBlumpkin 6h ago

No fucking way that's actually crazy we are cooked

4

u/Killbot_Wants_Hug 4h ago

You sound sad, would you like directions to the nearest suicide booth?

4

u/GeneralBlumpkin 4h ago

I'd give this 10-15 years before reality lol

13

u/DownWithHisShip 11h ago

my work truck has automatic headlights... including automatic high beams for some reason that turn on in bad situations. i've inadvertently flashed soooo many people, the high beams love to turn on as soon as someone passes me. someone's going to road rage shoot me someday.

1

u/Killbot_Wants_Hug 4h ago

Automatic headlights suck. My favorite was my old Tacoma, it turned your headlights off when you turned the car off. So I just left my headlights on all the time. It works so well that I honestly don't know why it's not just the norm.

Automatic windshield wipers are the one automatic thing I do really like.. because they also automatically adjust the speed to be perfect for the amount of rain accumulation on your window.

1

u/rookietotheblue1 9h ago

Take the feature off?

4

u/Charming_Garbage_161 11h ago

I like the screen for gps and music and that’s it.

1

u/Aedalas 6h ago

I drive a '94 so pre-bullshit era for sure, but I put in an aftermarket stereo and a small add on Android Auto screen for just music and GPS. It's pretty nice, my wife has a new car and the only thing I'm jealous of is the heated seats and wheel. All that extra shit has exactly zero appeal to me and some of it even goes into the negative range.

1

u/Charming_Garbage_161 4h ago

I thought of two more things I like. The back windows have roll down shades for my kids. And the rear view auto darkens so I never have to adjust for bright headlights

1

u/Aedalas 4h ago

Oh yeah... My wife's car has the darkening rear view mirror, that thing is really nice.

3

u/Apprehensive_Use3641 11h ago

My previous car was my first with Bluetooth, it's so nice, great for audiobooks and phone calls. I wouldn't mind less digital components, though I do like the screen that shows me my fuel efficiency, nice reminder to drive slower.

1

u/Pussy4LunchDick4Dins 6h ago

My car just has a light that turns on when I’m driving the most efficiently. 2014 Rav4

2

u/roastpoast 11h ago

Automatic climate control and adaptive cruise control with lane keep assist for them long drives

1

u/stinkingyeti 11h ago

My bluetooth radio broke like 5 months ago. That's how little i care about 'tech' in the car. So long as the fucker drives I'm happy.

1

u/PracticeTheory 11h ago

My car now is a 2015, and it feels just right. A tiny screen that is more or less optional since it can only display the current sound playing, the rear view camera, or access a handful of purely digital settings. Everything else is controlled by buttons. People (okay, my parents) keep asking me when I'm going to get a new car and I just laugh. I like my dumb car.

1

u/TyckledPynk 9h ago

I bought a 2018 Honda odyssey a couple months ago. I do enjoy the CarPlay feature for navigation, and some of the driving aid features. I do not want a vehicle more complicated than that though, and I’d be okay if cars went back to old school tech. Like you said, we already have a computer in our pockets, we just need it hooked up to the speakers when we drive

1

u/Amenthea 9h ago

I had the chance to give up my 21 plate Abarth and get an electric with all this stuff. Having driven 2 new electric cars in the last few months (and SUV and small hatch) I, to my surprise being in IT and loving tech/sci-fi etc, voted very much to retain the sound and feel of an actual engine underneath me, with buttons!

It has a touchscreen for the radio/satnav and some other bits but other than that it's all physical.

1

u/justuntlsundown 8h ago

Bluetooth, Air conditioning, comfortable seat, decent gas mileage. It's all I want and will ever care about. Everything else is irrelevant.

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u/shastaxc 7h ago

I just want to be able to update the inforainment software myself. I would slap some open source shit on there so fast. They're all so bad.

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u/elebrin 7h ago

Here's the thing: I can put a small bluetooth speaker on my dash or in my cupholder or something, or wear my headphones. There are options.

Although, I like having an AM/FM radio that can tune the NOAA stations in the car.

1

u/nathris 7h ago

$60 these days gets you a small touch screen with wireless Android Auto and Car Play that you can mount on your dash.

Both solutions run entirely off your phone so it's identical to any other car that comes with it built in. Only you don't need to worry about the manufacturer pushing a software update to remove or mess with it.

My old ass car has a cigarette lighter and an aux port but it has a better "infotainment" system than most cars on the market today.

1

u/truesy 6h ago

Bought a new car recently. Has been holding onto my 2008 for a long time. But am pretty happy with my new Honda. The screen for Apple car play is good, and the physical buttons are there for the things you’d want them for. 

Other cars i looked at, like subaru and VW, are way too touchscreeny. 

1

u/ProperProfessional 5h ago

8 track or riot for me.

1

u/Rex51230 4h ago

I got a 99 bmw only thing I've done to is is put a Bluetooth stereo. Perfect setup everything works and I can fix almost any problem in a weekend

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u/Magikarp_King 4h ago

I like having a screen that shows my gps when I plug my phone in that's as far as tech needed to go in cars. Way too many things have gone digital when they should be analog. You don't need to connect your fridge, oven, blender , toaster, or any other appliance like that to WiFi. Same goes for your car.

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u/LocutusOfBorgia909 2h ago

I'm cool with having a screen that will do Apple Car Play and the equivalent, so I can have maps and music up there, but beyond that, I don't need all this other shit on a touch screen. And honestly, I drive a 2010 Ford Focus right now, and I bought an aftermarket screen to stick to the windshield for the GPS/music stuff, and it's doing the job just fine.

And while we're at it, can we get rid of the fucking LED headlights that seem to have the same number of lumens as the literal sun? There is no way those blinding lights aren't causing accidents out there.

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u/Anon_Jones 12h ago

I have a basic model 17 accord and I’m scared for when I need a new car.

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u/Entaris 13h ago

Hopefully. 

Makes me think of the Toyota Yaris commercials from like 2012. 

“The Yaris has windows that roll down… and up. STANDARD.   Yaris: it’s a car “

They seemed silly at the time. Note it seems like it’d be a huge hit 

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u/mastegas 10h ago

I love my 2012 Yaris HSD. One of the best purchases I have ever made. If only the hybrid system could last forever...

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u/turkeeeeyyyyyy 6h ago

My girlfriend has an old Yaris. The only thing power is the steering. It’s pretty hilarious in basically 2026.

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u/waytowill 12h ago

Dumb cars, or at least analog controls for most of the dash, are being recommended by every safety devision because smart cars have been on the road long enough now to prove that they’re a legitimate danger. Turns out taking your eyes off the road in order to fuddle with the AC is a legitimate safety concern. Who woulda guessed.

Manufacturers may try to fight this, but if it becomes a class-action lawsuit, it would be a pretty clear cut case. Especially since most countries in Europe will require analog due to these safety standards being implemented, it’d be cheaper to just give every model analog controls.

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u/MisterJoff 10h ago

The weirdest thing for me is that it’s possible to have climate controls permanently available on touchscreens to avoid having to dig into menus; and yet only like a handful of cars do that. If you’re going to remove the physical switches; at least make sure there’s a way for me to adjust the temperature without fumbling through menus

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u/demonblack873 7h ago

My car (Renault Megane 4) does this to some extent, they're always available from a menu that slides up from the bottom with a single touch and you can also pin the most relevant ones (fan speed and output vents) on the front screen.

The defrost and recirc functions also have a physical button and the temperature has a physical scroll wheel.

This is still bad because if the screen breaks you can never ever change the vents settings again or even see what the temperature is set to, but it's better than nothing I guess.

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u/Low_discrepancy 10h ago

Especially since most countries in Europe will require analog due to these safety standards being implemented,

It will require physical switches only for car functions (turn signal, wipers, hazards, horn and SOS call).

Also it won't be mandatory, it's just a requirement to obtain 5* rating.

AC can still be touch dials/touch screen and get 5* rating.

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u/broesel314 13h ago

There is nothing wrong with Screens

Its Touchscreens for everything that don't belong in cars

I don't mind getting a full Keyboard displayed to enter a destination to the nav but almost everything else should be illuminated physical buttons that you can find and press blind

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u/Clunas 13h ago

This. Screen for nav and music (selection) is fine. Buttons and knobs for climate and volume controls are a safety feature.

6

u/Commercial-Royal-988 12h ago

This. I use the screen for GPS. Thankfully my radio buttons were just moved to the steering wheel so I didn't lose them, but moving all these things to a touch screen which are notoriously finnicky is a terrible idea. A car is the last place you want to have a single fail point for basically everything; its already a several ton missle being piloted by an on average inattentive moron.

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u/spingus 12h ago

there is an entire huge demographic of people 40+ who need reading glasses, but otherwise have good vision.

We do not want these people having to put their reading glasses on to operate the screen that is integral to the operation of their vehicle.

Reading glasses are not compatible with driving.

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u/xrimane 10h ago

Nah, I'm looking into bright screens all day, I'd really appreciate looking into just analog dials when driving. You know, it feels more "real".

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u/seamonkey420 13h ago

exactly!! the prev gen minis had the best of all worlds: touchscreen, knob controller and voice controls (very bad though!). i refuse to buy any new minis until they get rid of that screen and add back physical buttons, mainly toggle controls the prev generations had.

if i wanted a tesla, i'd buy a tesla.

1

u/reiji_tamashii 4h ago

Screens are a big problem for night driving. Having a low-contrast 15 inch LCD screen in your periphery is a distraction and fucks with your low-light vision. I went back to the factory stereo in my 2008 Honda Fit after using an aftermarket 7" screen and the original is noticeably so much better for driving at night.

I suspect that one of the reasons why every car has LED mini-suns for headlights is to compensate for the huge screens that are preventing your eyes from adjusting to the dark.

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u/PiccoloAwkward465 3h ago

Yeah screen for navigation is super awesome with Apple Carplay and I wouldn't want to go back. I've only lived in my city for a little bit so I'm using GPS everywhere and it's great to have it nice and clear. Rather than my wife's car with no Carplay and I have to try to squint at my phone.

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u/togetherwem0m0 14h ago

The slate truck. Looks cool

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u/TNVFL1 5h ago

If it truly doesn’t have a screen at all, it’s illegal af in America because back up cameras are required in any car manufactured after 2018. Reading about it, it looks like they probably do and the wording is intentionally sort of skirting around the fact that it does have a screen. May be minimally functional, but still there.

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u/reiji_tamashii 4h ago

It does have a small screen in the gauge cluster that shows your speed and switches to the backup camera when it's in reverse.

https://www.reddit.com/r/slateauto/comments/1lldm7c/slate_backup_camera/

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u/itscool222 13h ago

I agree it looks cool but you'd be better off buying a maverick for the same price. Here's a cool video about it

https://youtu.be/Vv0wC_ffAHU?si=xmBhn1Te1E3oZQJH

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u/Diet_Christ 10h ago

Maverick isn't an EV.

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u/johnnydamonday 11h ago

True, the Maverick is a solid choice for the price, plus you get the versatility of a hybrid option. But if you're into that retro vibe and simplicity, the slate truck might hit different. It's all about what you value more!

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u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq 14h ago

Ohhh, if this is true christmas came early this year!

I fucking loath all this touch screen shit in a car!

Buttons weren't broke! You didn't have to look at the dashboard at all, you could just feel your way and keep your eyes on the road 🤦‍♀️

I recently rented a car where you couldn't get a map, navigation, or half the radio stations because you needed a subscription. Even older touch screen cars still let you have a fucking map.

Please, please, bring back dumb cars.

2

u/btribble 13h ago

Screens are fine for all the auxiliary shit. If I want to set my charging rate, I don't want to do it with a charging rate knob or whatever and hope that It's not going to blow my house wiring. Just don't put a single function on there that I have to use while I'm driving.

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u/doberdevil 3h ago

Just buy a dumb car. You can find plenty of great used cars that will run forever with proper maintenance, which will be cheaper than a lease or car payments for something newer.

The only real downside in my opinion is that newer vehicles have amazing safety features.

5

u/5panks 13h ago

You can't have a truly dumb car in the US any longer. There are already features like backup cameras that are mandatory and require a screen.

Starting in 2029 they're going to require automatic braking systems in all new cars as well.

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u/Buchymoo 13h ago

I mean there's gotta be at least one screen somewhere in the car if you're in the US. Backup cameras are a legally mandated feature of any car post 2018. Which is also why I laugh my ass off every time it as a selling point on a commercial or at a dealership.

But yeah I think the Slate truck has it on it's instrument panel.

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u/cherry_monkey 10h ago

Legally, non-commercial vehicles require a back up camera

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u/poorperspective 9h ago

Those barebones wouldn’t pass regulations for the US.

New make cars have to have a screen because back-up cameras are non optional.

They would have tons of “optional” add ons that would raise the basic model to a price similar to economy cars of other makers.

The only plus is as a manufacturer, you would be able to sell the car in multiple international markets for cheaper.

And they would probably sell it for more, and give multiple options to get the costumer to spend more than the economy car.

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u/stevenr21 13h ago

There's a Mahindra Jeep copy that looks promising but it is way too expensive. 

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u/BlackOutDrunkJesus 13h ago

There was an amazon made truck called the Slate that is supposed to come out at some point. comes with almost nothing

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u/seamonkey420 13h ago

yea, i'm one of those hardcore mini fans and effing hate the new interiors of the Mini hardtops and countryman. that key start feels like a powertoys key.

so i actually went the opposite route and got a 2021 MINI GP3 which basically has hardly any modern features (decent headunit w/satnav and carplay) and has zero driving aids, very basic non-radar cruise control in exchange for 300hp and race suspension...

honestly i don't miss them really (only thing i miss is comfort access) and in the future i know there are less things to break and start rattling

1

u/zanathos77 13h ago

I think that was the basic 10k Toyota or Nissan they were showing off? Then it hasn’t happened yet here. You could buy upgrades for everything but a basic analog/non power anything was supposed to be targeted at 10k USD.

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u/robogobo 13h ago

Dumb phones too while we’re at it.

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u/rodeBaksteen 13h ago

I'd miss Android Auto in that. Also rear cameras.

And if we talk about dumb cars I'd miss active steering in mine. Helps greatly to reduce fatigue, especially in the dark or rain.

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u/moms-sphaghetti 12h ago

Was it the Slate? That thing looks like it could be cool.

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u/spingus 12h ago

if it has mechanical fuel injection and a throttle cable, I'm in.

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u/Radi0ActivSquid 11h ago

I think I know what truck you're talking about. The Slate. A sub-$30k electric truck that's completely modular.

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u/Inkompetent 10h ago

Sounds like it'll be illegal/extremely heavily taxed in USA, at least. "It's not a three-ton monster unfit for the road? GET IT OUT OF HERE!"

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u/herewegoinvt 10h ago

International is doing this with their vehicles. Knobs where you expect knobs, switches where you expect switches. The dumber the car the better. This is what I want.

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u/_Middlefinger_ 10h ago

That boat has sailed, certainly in the EU. While there are cars with no screens and manual boxes they still have a shit ton of automatic 'features' you can only partially deactivate.

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u/bepatientbekind 9h ago

All cars are required to have a back-up cam now, so it would need a screen for that at least. I'm a fan of that though for safety reasons, but no screens for anything else!

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u/SoulOfTheDragon 8h ago

New safety requirements for cars actually require things that need screens, cameras and other annoying features. As in they must have those to be sold as new cars.

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u/Extension_Ideal_4012 6h ago

Below 30k? Dude a dumb car should be well below 20k imo. Vehicle prices are absolutely insane.

1

u/Typical-Charge6819 5h ago

The 2025 corolla has buttons for everything and a screen for navigation etc.

It's also got music that displays on the screen but I can use the steering wheel to skip songs on Spotify.

It's the exact level of tech I want and I love it

1

u/UrsusRenata 4h ago

I would buy the hell out of a dumb car. I don’t want a damn connected thing that a car manufacturer still has control over after I drive off-lot.

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u/blah938 3h ago

You can't. Backup cameras are mandatory, meaning screens are mandatory.

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u/Responsible-Ad7531 3h ago

They are still in development. Thing is it’s a new company. They had the backing then didn’t

1

u/PleaseNoMoreSalt 2h ago

Only concession I'll make on screens in cars is for the backup camera. You still need to look behind/around you, but I like it for checking that I'm lined up correctly in the parking spot

1

u/WhitePantherXP 11h ago

I just know you guys are not even going to buy these vehicles, but you'll damn sure praise them and knock everything else. Same goes for all those people online spamming hate on all new vehicles saying they just want a dead simple vehicle and won't drive anything but a manual transmission, yet they never sell well and get discontinued. When did it become cool to be a contrarian?

0

u/Necessary-Contest-24 13h ago

The hilarious part is that these mega corporations and billionaires squeezing the middle class out of existence, there's not going to be a market for anything other than old used pieces of crap.

1, There will be cars for billionaires who can afford to buy a whole car company. 2, cars for Dr's, lawyers, movie stars, sports stars, CEOs etc, and 3, cars for the rest.

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u/Doc-tor-Strange-love 11h ago

We're talking about dumb cars, not giving dumb takes.

Unless capitalism is completely outlawed, if there is a market for something that need will be filled by an entrepreneur

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u/_Cinnabar_ 12h ago

wanted to help a friend replace the battery in her mini because it can't be that hard, I've done it enough times with other cars.

did some research since I heard there's a catch, turns out exchanging the battery is a bit more complicated than most cars, but still easy, that's not a problem.

BUT a new battery has to be "activated", or the start/stop function wouldn't work and "the car might not start at all".

this of course has to be done by a "licenced mechanic", i. e. the nearest mini center, and costs ~150€....

simply fuckin telling the car "hey, there's a new battery here, in case you didn't notice!"

and they of course also don't allow you to come with your own battery because "that might be unsafe"....

fuckers made a battery change that should have cost exactly the ~150€ of the battery then cost ~550€ 🙃

will never buy a mini ever

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u/mksmith95 11h ago

YES! Just like how some cars charge a subscription fee to simply use the remote start option! How disgustingly greedy.

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u/Dimmed_skyline 10h ago

Mini is owned by BMW FYI, they were the ones who kinda started the whole charging subscription fees on already installed features enshitification car brands are trying to push on us.

1

u/6SixTy 24m ago

Rolls Royce: BMW

Mini: BMW

MG: bounced around now the marque is Chinese owned

Jaguar and Land Rover: was owned by Ford, now Tata Motors out of India

Aston Martin: was owned by Ford, now independent

Rest don't exist anymore (e.g. Layland)

2

u/stormdraggy 11h ago edited 10h ago

If it's an app then it's bundled with some onstar-esque service.

A oem remote start off the fob is still safe for now..after you buy the module as an option..

2

u/mksmith95 7h ago

Not for Toyota, it seems (correct me if I’m wrong though)

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u/Lotronex 6h ago

You are correct, at least for the Rav4. Latest models come w/ a free trial (1-10 years depending on trim), but after that expires even the key fob remote start stops working.

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u/gr33nnight 4h ago

That's Toyota. Subscription fee to use the remote start that is already built in.

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u/Flamboiant_Canadian 11h ago

My starter for my old truck from my Durango $150. My new starter for my partner's X3 $1000, both done 3rd party.

Mine took 15 min, his took 6h. You pay all the extra money for all the extra work to do the simplest things. There was an entire book for a guide for his work-around. 

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u/ElevatorVarious6882 11h ago

thats standard on any car with start stop. you can buy or borrow an odb tool to reset the battery.

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u/_Cinnabar_ 10h ago

so I've learned, still fuckin stupid 🥲

I even have an odb, but only one via phone connection and I didn't want to fuck around with someone elses car with that :/

so all it'd have needed was reset the battery and it's good?

what I gathered was that it somehow needed to be calibrated and the board computer told what it is, and I can't do that with my device

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u/Killbot_Wants_Hug 4h ago

Modern cars have battery management systems that monitor the batteries, charge state and charging. This is so they can make their batteries last long, and not kill them doing auto start/stop. So the car needs some information about the battery.

That's why you have to reset them for the new batteries. The manufacturer's aren't fucking with you. The mechanics are just kind of robbing you because most people aren't going to do that kind of work even is it is pretty simple. I had to do it on my Ford that doesn't even have auto start/stop, but at least you just have to Google a weird process to make the car do it (which also had to be done to unfuck my power windows after battery failure).

Yeah it's more complex than when you learned to work on cars, but that's kind of all of life.

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u/alberto148 8h ago

Nope, Toyota prius, even the phev versions don't have this bullshit.

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u/zyyntin 7h ago

The higher in luxury cars record how long the battery has been in the vehicle (AKA activated). Their computer control system rely on a particular voltage supply. When the battery begin to get weak the computer sensors do not read correctly.

There are other things as well. Batteries installed in the rear of the vehicle require a vent tube to be installed/reinstalled to vent the battery to the outside of the cabin.

I agree it all stupid.

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u/grilledSoldier 5h ago

My dad changed the battery in his car with the engine running to get around a similar issue. Not the recommended way, but i absolutely get not wanting to "cave in" to this BS.

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u/Frost-Wzrd 5h ago

I changed the battery in my 2020 mini a few months ago. I had to buy a Bluetooth obd reader and some bmw app just to register my new battery into the car.

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u/mall_ninja42 4h ago

The vehicle starts and runs just fine, it's the charging circuit that gets reset, and a lot more manufacturers than Mini/BMW have it.

A decent Bluetooth OBD2 scanner is $100CAD and will register a battery.

They're a great tool to have if you like working on cars anyways.

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u/_Cinnabar_ 1h ago

that's good to know, I got a good obd device anyway, just didn't wanna mess around with a car that's not mine 😅

so for the future I can try :)

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u/G0rkon 3h ago

I want to blame that on German engineering but I think that's only part of the answer. Really it's just where new cars have gotten to. The most basic maintenance is software locked so only licensed mechanics, who work for the manufacturer/dealership or pay the manufacturer for licensing, can do it.

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u/Middle_System_1105 3h ago

They sell a battery plug in for your cars lighter port in the cab for these kinds, to save you the trouble of having to get reprogrammed in the occasion that your car battery dies randomly / bricking your car. I can’t believe that is possible.. 😔

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u/rvk2003 6h ago

Many new European cars have that.

The old battery capacity and voltage lowers due to aging, that way the alternator has to charge faster overtime to withstand the battery from draining and adjust the voltage so everything works great. The ecu needs to know the battery is changed and the capacity, voltage is new/higher so the alternator doesn’t need to work hard anymore so they programmed it in. to keep the very expensive electronics and alternator from getting fried. Just be happy you didn’t had the Lithium ion battery like some BMWs have it costs like 3000 euro

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u/narvuntien 14h ago

https://www.autoblog.com/news/bmws-screw-that-no-one-else-can-turn

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u/welchplug 13h ago

I give it less than a year before some makes a screwdriver for it.

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u/Brad_again 13h ago

15 minutes and dremel.

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u/welchplug 12h ago

You get it.

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u/TieCivil1504 11h ago

I would've said 30s minutes but the same solution.

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u/elebrin 7h ago

Depends on what the screw is in.

Honestly, it really only matters when you get to the third owner after 100k miles, and they want to mod the vehicle. That guy won't think twice, he'll get a drill and drill it out, then replace it with something that has a standard head from his parts bin.

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u/ShadowDancer_88 12h ago

A year?

Give Bubba a tallboy and he'll have it done and smoking meth before your next break.

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u/welchplug 3h ago

Sounds like its less than a year?

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u/Schlonzig 13h ago

It‘s not that you can‘t make a screwdriver for it, it‘s that patent law forbids you to do it.

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u/welchplug 12h ago

Have you been on Amazon or ebay before?

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u/EggyChickenEgg88 10h ago

Or any mechanic shop that can make their own tools

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u/Detenator 11h ago

For once I'm actually glad the Chinese ignore the rest of the world's patents.

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u/EggyChickenEgg88 10h ago

A simple cnc job to make this driver would take a year? More like a few minutes.

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u/velvetrevolting 5h ago

Oh, BMW makes the mini. lol. Gross, I hate the way they handle anyway!

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u/AGuyWhoBrokeBad 14h ago

“It’s gross.”

It’s capitalism. Capitalism hates right to repair laws because it doesn’t allow them to milk every last penny out of you. Capitalism is as ruthless as the laws allow it to be.

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u/WideFoot 13h ago

I watched a video by Hank Green about how car repairs is one of the reasons the Ford F-150 lightning failed. Dealerships make a lot of money on maintenance. Electric vehicles need significantly less maintenance. Therefore, dealerships didn't stock electric vehicles. And, dealerships are independent companies, so Ford can't tell them what to do.

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u/Ouch_i_fell_down 8h ago

It failed because they lied about its range on a good day, and its range while towing was cut into a third.

Who on earth can spend the time required to charge every 80 miles with a trailer?

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u/A_Stoned_Smurf 6h ago

There are plenty of roads I could take where I can go 80 miles without seeing a town where I live, and in neighboring states. That's some God awful mileage.

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u/WideFoot 5h ago

American trucks are shaped like bricks and are regularly driven at 80 mph.

If you made them aerodynamic and drive them slower, the range would be fine.

And, a range when towing is complicated because the aerodynamics of a towed load is variable.

90% of truck owners don't tow anything. But, a better solution would be a battery powered truck that turns into a freight train when the battery runs out - that is the electric motor is driven by a diesel generator after the battery dies. So long as you keep it charged for everyday use, you get the benefits of an electric vehicle. (Tons of torque from start, the ability to run power tools off of the car or back-feed your house, reduced maintenance) But, in a pinch you can still go long distances or tow.

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u/Crossfire124 4h ago

But then you're carrying around an entire engine, gas tank, transmission, etc, that will not be used 90% of the time. It's actively making the electric range suffer and taking up space that could have been used for a larger battery. Plus how there's all the maintenance associated with the ICE parts that you have to do

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u/Ouch_i_fell_down 1h ago

You say this, and yet Ford has already axed the F150 Lightning and stated they are replacing it with an F150 EREV.

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u/Killbot_Wants_Hug 4h ago

I watched that video too. But Hank Green also clearly doesn't understand a large section of the car buying market. Also that was a weird video because he was saying "I don't know" to a bunch of stuff he could have just looked up, like it wasn't a scripted video.

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u/FancifulLaserbeam 10h ago

And only in capitalism can you easily change their behavior by buying something from a company that doesn't do that.

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u/thefattestgiraffe 7h ago

This argument depends on the fantasy of the sovereign consumer. A fully rational, self-interested, utility-maximizing, well-informed, unconstrained and consistent over time individual whose market choices meaningfully discipline capital.

That model has been disproven and survives only as ideology.

"Just buy something else" is a moral alibi that shifts responsibility from systems onto individuals.

Homo economicus is a politically useful fantasy to capitalists. But harmful to us. It helps depict coercive systems as voluntary ones by redefining constraint as choice.

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u/nomad_kk 13h ago

Thank god EU is not letting them do this stuff in EU

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u/Eastern-Baseball-843 13h ago

Nah, they are.

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u/Visual-Living7586 10h ago

No theyre not.

NCAP 2026 new regs

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u/Eastern-Baseball-843 9h ago

Well our Deeres need the dealer for a load of small stupid faults at the moment!

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u/Far-Plenty2029 5h ago

The other commenter is right. Pretty sure the latest ECE regulations require stronger security for control modules and disallow changing any configuration by unauthorized parties. Meaning, the only people who can do that are the dealerships, who are again required to be licensed and actively connected to the manufacturer’s servers so only approved features for that VIN are allowed. It’s illegal to sell new cars without this security.

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u/muttChang 11h ago

Have you seen the new proprietary BMW screw heads? It’s their circle logo which is pretty brilliant.

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u/FancifulLaserbeam 11h ago

I drove a 2008 Mini Cooper S for 12 years and loved every minute of it.

But everything since the 2014 models has been increasingly stupid.

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u/Airurando-jin 10h ago

My grandfather would have hated that.

He could completely strip down and rebuild Massey Ferguson’s. 

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u/LightninHooker 10h ago

Why would you buy the car in the first place ? Expensive ass car that you hate. You gotta be truly regarded to buy that

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u/dinominant 10h ago

Do not buy it. If you rent one, get all the insurance they offer. The fastest car in the world is a rental.

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u/Natural_West4094 10h ago

Soon they will charge a software subscription to unlock the AC controls, and then introduce an ad-supported tier for those who can't afford their price increases.

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u/rosie2490 9h ago

It’s a Mini, hard to find anyone other than a dealer who services them anyway, even prior to this overhaul.

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u/wanklenoodle 9h ago

Mini is owned by BMW so this is absolutely the case

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u/HotAnorak 9h ago

Minis were a notorious pain in the arse to repair years before this anyway.

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u/Modo44 9h ago

They are about to learn about the hacking skills of angry nerds that accidentally buy these things, or have to help family with them. You might not download a car, but you will definitely root the fuck out of it.

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u/Capable-Sock9910 9h ago

Reading the owners manual and half of the bulb replacements are "take it to a dealer".

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u/Suikerspin_Ei 8h ago

Correct. BMW designs screws that locks you out of own repairs. For people who don't know, Mini Cooper is owned by BMW.

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u/LocNesMonster 7h ago

At the cost of making cars less safe to drive. The lack of physical feedback given by these touchscreens encourages drivers to look away from the road to make sure they hit the right input, and thats before stupid shit like tesla letting the driver play games or netflix on it

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u/elebrin 7h ago

Well, this is a Mini, which is owned by BMW. In other words, it will already be extremely expensive to repair and extremely expensive to get parts for.

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u/Fear_of_the_boof 7h ago

Yeah my mechanic is like, “no one will be able to fix these”

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u/Karl_42 6h ago

Oh god that’s 100% why they’re doing this.

Horrifying

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u/Shellnanigans 6h ago

I pray to Louis Rossmann every night, right to repair ❤️

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u/Turdburp 6h ago

My grandfather kept a car he bought in the 70's for like 25 years. When I asked him why, he said "because I can fix it". He used to do minor car repairs stuff for me after he retired......on one car, you needed a special tool to get the oil filter out and on another car, he had to remove one of my headlights to change the battery.

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u/Akumaka 5h ago

I mean, they are owned and produced by BMW, so that checks out.

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u/Omorpheus 5h ago

Time to send John Deere a "Dear John"

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u/Princess_Moon_Butt 2h ago edited 2h ago

That's true, but I feel like this 'put everything on an ipad' design trend goes beyond that. It'd be easy enough to have functional/intuitive controls and still discourage third-party repairs/mods.

This 'minimalist' design strikes me more as laziness/cheapness. Buttons? Dials? Designing more shapes and pieces to put together? Tolerances? Aesthetics? Ergonomics and intuitive design? Functionality? Nah, just make it one smooth flat panel and put everything on an ipad instead- you can even copy-paste the programming in from another model. That way we have fewer parts to produce, and lower assembly costs- and ultimately that's what matters.

In theory, I get it- if the 'controls' are all on a single interface that can just be dropped in, then it is genuinely easier to assemble. But seeing it on so many 'luxury' cars always baffled me; it's taking away things, and charging more for it.

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u/Teslapromt 12h ago

No, that's not it. The real reason is it's cheaper to have generic on screen controls than designing and producing thousands of cars with buttons and PRNDLs. Yes, installing a screen is cheaper.

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